The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Explained for Home Builders

Most owners I coach are working harder than they ever have, and a lot of them feel like they are getting nowhere. They run around all day, react to whatever lands on their desk, and go home tired. If that sounds familiar, there is a book that has helped me and the companies I coach more than almost any other: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I have read it, listened to it, and taught from it for years, and this is how I would explain it to a builder.

Covey groups the seven habits into three areas: private victories (habits one to three), public victories (four to six) and renewal (seven). Each habit builds on the one before it, which matters. You do not need to master all seven at once. You need to start with the first one and let the rest build.

Habit 1: What does it mean to be proactive?

Covey uses the word response-able: you are able to choose your response. Whatever the situation, the reaction is yours. That is where the name of this podcast comes from. Choices create change. Your behavior is a choice, and your behavior decides where the situation goes next.

Reactive people let their environment control them. They blame others, and in my experience it usually happens because they were not ready. They did not prepare, did not study, did not do the homework. Listen to the language. Proactive people say I can, we can and I will. Reactive people say I can't, I probably won't, if only and it might not work.

I work with a lot of project managers, and you can see this habit in the schedule. When you order at the last minute, you find out the material will not arrive on time. Looking farther down the road and preparing long before the situation arrives is how you avoid chaos, stress and drama. Covey's point is that you are not a product of your circumstances. You are a product of your decisions.

Habit 2: Why begin with the end in mind?

Where is your department going? Your company? Your marriage? If you are not sure where you are going, you cannot know what to work on. Covey says things are created twice: once in your mind and then in the world. You have to see it before you can produce it.

That is why, on my team, if it is not written, it is not real. Write down where you want to be in three months, one year, three years, ten years. I have a story board in my office with big pictures I put up about eight years ago, and I have checked off a good number of them. Without clarity, life happens to you, and you wake up one day somewhere you did not intend to be. Covey says people are working harder than ever but, lacking vision, are pushing a rope with all their might.

Watch the voice in your own head while you do this. The hardest voice to manage is yours, and it will tell you that you are not equipped, that you cannot afford it, that it will not work. Write it down anyway.

Habit 3: How do you put first things first?

Growing up, we had a list of Saturday chores in our house, and if we finished them we could go to the candy store. Chores first, then play. That is the habit in one sentence. Do you know your highest priorities today, this week and this month? If you began with the end in mind, you have a clue, because knowing where you are going tells you what you had better be working on.

I try to practice it with every client. Before I arrive, I build an agenda from our last conversation and send it ahead so we are ready. Before I teach a class, I prepare weeks ahead, thirty minutes here and an hour there. If I just showed up and swung it, I would not be invited back.

Habit 4: What does think win-win mean in business?

Covey says that when one side benefits more than the other, that is win-lose. The winner may enjoy it for a while, but over time it breeds resentment and distrust. Win-win means both sides get most of what they need, and we agree to move forward, even if we disagree on some points.

In companies, I see win-win cultures built on three things: integrity (setting aside personal agendas to get to real feelings, values and commitments), maturity (expressing my view while genuinely listening to yours), and an abundance mentality, the belief that there is plenty for everyone. Fear-based cultures assume people are stealing, leaving early or hiding something. Abundance cultures give people responsibility and accountability and then celebrate when they win.

Habit 5: How do you seek first to understand?

I am guilty here. I run in thinking I already have the answer, and then someone says one sentence and I realize I did not have a clue. Covey says most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply. I have a reminder that pops up every week or two that says listen, ask questions, listen with your eyes.

Questions I ask now: tell me what happened. Tell me why you feel that way. What do you think we need to do about it? I am trying to understand, not to prove my suspicion that somebody messed up.

Here is a lesson I learned while working as an operations leader. An owner announced a new process to his thirteen staff, and two weeks later only half were following it. He was frustrated because, to him, it was perfectly clear when it came out of his mouth. But he was filtering everyone through how he would have responded: write it down, go back to the desk, start immediately. Not everyone sees the world your way. Before you decide a person is the problem, find out what roadblocks they hit.

Habit 6: What is synergy on a building team?

Synergy is the increased effectiveness you get when people work together. It is our way, not my way. That means walking into the room with ideas but not a decision already made. It means building an environment of cooperation, where nobody is yelled at in front of peers and nobody takes passive-aggressive shots. It means moving beyond that is the way we have always done it. If what you have always done is not getting results, doing it again every day and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.

Synergy also asks you to connect with the heart. Mark Miller, who spent years as a leader at Chick-fil-A, writes in The Heart of Leadership that when you get to the heart of a person, you get all of them. That is asking about the soccer tournament, the parent in the hospital, the new car. And it means valuing differences: the new college grad, the veteran, the person from another culture or another company. A single voice gets the least results. Six or seven viewpoints get the best idea.

Habit 7: What does sharpen the saw mean?

If you have ever cut hardwood with a dull chainsaw, you know the problem. A few cuts in, you are pushing harder and getting nowhere. Covey's advice: never get too busy sawing to take the time to sharpen the saw. Renewal means continuous improvement in four areas: physical (what we eat, exercise, rest), social and emotional (real connections with others), mental (reading, learning, teaching) and spiritual (nature, music, prayer, serving others).

I coach an owner who used to work until two or three in the morning most nights. As we worked on delegating, finding staff and learning to be the question asker instead of the filter, he almost never does that anymore. Renewal is not a luxury. It is what keeps you sharp and helps you handle stress, and without it come low energy, burnout and apathy.

Where to start

Pick up the book, or the audio version, and read it again every year or two. Then do not try to implement all seven. Take the first habit, be proactive, and work on it for the next six months. Then see what the next two or three years look like when you add the rest.

You are not a product of your circumstances. You are a product of your decisions.