Stop Giving Orders: Why Great Leaders Ask 50% More Questions

Here is a pattern I see in almost every company I coach. Somebody walks into the owner's office and says, “Can you help me with something?” The owner, who is capable and wants to be helpful, says, “Sure, here is what to do.” Ten minutes later the problem is handled and everyone feels good. Multiply that by a dozen people a day and you get a leader who is exhausted, a team that has stopped thinking, and a to-do list that is mostly other people's work.

This is part two of my series on the fifteen things great leaders do. Last time I covered five: make it safe to speak up, make decisions, communicate expectations in writing, challenge people to think, and be accountable to others. Today it is numbers six through ten, and the last one is a line I would like you to write down: great leaders ask 50% more questions than they make directives.

Does leading by example mean being perfect?

Number six is lead by example. It does not mean perfection. It means people can follow you as you try to live by the core values, the mission and the process you have asked everyone else to follow. Show up on time or early. Come to the meeting prepared. Turn in the report you owe. If integrity is one of your values, live it. If customer satisfaction is one of your values, strive to deliver it to your employees and teammates as well as your customers.

You will miss sometimes. When you do, be mature enough to say so, explain what happened and tell the team what you are going to do about it. That is one of the most powerful things a leader can do, because it shows everyone that being the boss does not make you perfect, only responsible.

How do you measure and reward employee performance?

Number seven is measure and reward performance. Across the country, I find that most companies have very little written down. Expectations are spoken: “You should do a better job. You should have been early. That report needed more information.” It is all vague, and you cannot manage a conversation. It is not real if it is not written.

Everyone on your team should know what they were hired to do, what they are responsible for, and what results they are accountable for. Then you have to measure those results. If you do not know how, that is the first meeting to schedule: how do we capture this data?

I also look for trends rather than a great day or a great week. Thirteen weeks or twenty-six weeks tells you far more. If a number is trending up, find out why. If it is trending down, find out why. Then reward the people who consistently meet or beat their numbers, because you want to reinforce the behavior of producing and improving. A flat cost of living raise for everyone, or a raise because somebody has gone a while without one, does not do that.

There is one more reason to measure, and it has nothing to do with pay. In one company I know, the person everybody calls their top performer privately wishes she knew how she was doing. She carries a quiet doubt that she is not good enough, because nobody ever shows her the numbers. I have a saying for this: the hardest voice to manage is yours. A simple monthly or every-other-month review of real results would have silenced that voice.

Why is continuous feedback better than an annual review?

Number eight is provide continuous feedback. That same company has no annual reviews, no quarterly reviews and no monthly check-ins. Nobody walks around and talks to people. The result is a high performer who has no idea where she stands.

Build a rhythm where every person knows how they are doing and can see their metrics. When you sit down with someone, start with life: how is your family? Then talk about work. What are you excited about? What have you accomplished? Brag on yourself a little. What are you struggling with, or what could you do better? Then it is your job to help: a class, some training, new software, whatever gets them to their next step.

The easiest version of this is managing by walking around. Pop into someone's office or a meeting at random, get a quick update, thank people for how hard they are working and ask if there is anything you can help with. It takes five minutes and it tells people you notice.

How do you put the right people in the right seats?

Number nine is properly allocate and deploy talent. Most of us do not fully understand the gifts, passions and skills of the people on our teams. That is how we end up with the right people in the wrong seats, and sometimes with the wrong people on the bus entirely. When someone is working against how they are wired, they are frustrated, and so is everyone around them. Often they just need to find the right bus.

This works whether you have five people or five hundred. Build a process, starting before you hire:

1. Use an assessment. Tools like DISC, the Enneagram and Working Genius are inexpensive and tell you how someone is put together, what they are good at and what drains them.
2. Do the hiring homework. Most of us are not great at hiring. Call the references, and build a good set of interview questions for the specific position (AI can help you draft them).
3. Be brutally honest about what you are inviting them into. If you are in the middle of building systems and the place is messy, say so. The right people love that challenge.
4. Run a 90 day check-in. You work with them, they work with you, and at the end of 90 days you both decide. If it is not a fit, no harm, no foul, and you part on good terms.

Start with where the company is going and what it will take to get there. That also tells you what roles and resources you will need. When I have seen this done well, the new person is making a real difference within three or four months, because the skills, the passion and the job were matched from the start.

Why do great leaders ask questions instead of giving directions?

Number ten is ask questions and seek counsel. Here is what happens when you give directions. Someone asks for advice, you tell them: make this call, order that, hold this meeting. It does not work out, you go back to them, and they say, “You told me what to do and it did not work. What do you want me to do now?” You just took ownership of their problem.

Ask instead. What is going on? What is the issue? What do you think is causing it? What do you think we could do? Do you need anything from me, like a resource, a computer or a meeting? If their plan makes sense, say go ahead and let's touch base afterward. The ownership and the accountability stay in the chair that is being paid to do the job.

Seeking counsel matters just as much. None of us is gifted in every area. Most people have one major strength and one minor one, and we usually are not good at the rest. When you are unsure, call a peer or someone further along in the journey. Read, listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Everything you pour into yourself becomes better counsel for your team.

Quick recap of all ten

Make it safe to speak up. Decide in a timely way. Communicate expectations in writing. Challenge people to think. Be accountable to others. Lead by example. Measure and reward performance. Give continuous feedback. Allocate talent well. Ask questions and seek counsel. Next time we finish with numbers eleven through fifteen.