Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Great sermon Pastor Michael. (You should check it out. Mwchurch.com)
Most of our conflict in our relationships or at work are caused by the lack of perspective or understanding about the issue. Something hits us the wrong way, and we get our feelings hurt or we get angry and that movie starts. You are asking yourself, “What movie?” You know that story that starts to run in your head about that person, what they said, how wrong they are, how bad things are, they have no idea. You know “That Movie”. It is usually negative, angry and usually wrong.
The first thing we need to do is go talk with them and seek to understand. (Great book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I’ve attached a link). What we usually find out is we did not really understand the challenge, a misunderstanding of the situation and “That Movie” starts. “That Movie” is usually wrong and off base. Before we get upset and assume the wrong things, let’s go have a conversation. Let’s try to understand. (I know that means you must be the mature person). After hearing their side of the situation ask “Is there any more you need to share?”. This one statement will change everything, it really shows that you want to make things right.
Remember, If you do stay focused on the problem it will turn into an issue. What might have been something silly and small will explode into a devastating issue if we cannot get understanding and resolution. Never let the issue become personal. Stay on the problem not the person.
Remember:
1. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
2. Always ask “Is there anymore I need to share?”
3. Be the mature person and seek resolution
4. Turn off “The Movie” until you have all the facts.