“Frustration is a function of our expectations, and our expectations are often a reflection of our social mirror rather than our own values and priorities.” Stephen Covey
Wow. Very insightful observation by Stephen Covey. Looking back on my journey as a parent I can totally relate to times and situations where I responded through what our culture or community thought was correct behavior and not through the lens of who my child was or how we managed our family.
Have you caught yourself saying or thinking, “but what will they think? If my child does that what will they think of me?” I believe that is managing by social mirror. We get upset or frustrated because of the behavior that might make us look bad or that we may not be as good as they think. How can we move from using a social mirror to using our mirror. What is right and correct for me? What is the right thing to do in this situation for the good of my child or me and not the approval or perspective of the culture or people around me?
For the next 2 weeks let’s try using our filter. Let’s spend an hour or two deciding what is important to me, my family and my kids and then begin to manage our relationships through that filter. Let’s take these next 2 to 3 months and strive to move away from the social mirror as much as we can and move toward our mirror based on our values and our priorities.