Value Based Motives

From Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

“As we loosened up our old perception of our son and developed value-based motives, new feelings began to emerge. We found ourselves enjoying him instead of comparing or judging him. We stopped trying to clone him in our own image or measure him against social expectations. We stopped trying to kindly, positively manipulate him not an acceptable social mold. Because we saw him as fundamentally adequate and able to,cope with life, we stopped protecting him against the ridicule of others.”

Wow does this hit home for me. Probably some of you parents out there as well. I know there were times when I tried to get my kids to conform to what I thought was normal or what I thought might be better for them instead of letting them be who they are. I’m not talking about allowing drugs, violence, disrespect, etc. I’m talking about sports, interest, goals, aspirations, etc.

Instead of trying to understand how they were made. How they processed stuff. What their love languages were and manage and lead out of those areas I tried to make them like me or someone like me.

Lets try to see the value in our kids, their strengths, their weaknesses, their giftings, their passion and talk in their love language more often and life will be sooo much better and our relationships with our kids will be so much better.