The good book reminds us that “The tone of our words will shape the tone of our relationships.”
I know I have been guilty of letting my passion come across as anger or attitude. I don’t know about you, but I really have to work on the tone of my voice. Sometimes it is not the response that is the problem, but the delivery of that response. People can always tell if we are being genuine or just playing the game of concern or empathy. But here is something that I do know. The organizations that I coach where there is a genuine concern for the company members, our vendors, our suppliers and our customers, seem to always be more productive and team oriented.
The good book says we should be a breath of fresh air as we walk our journey everyday. This is especially true for us as parents, leaders, owners and managers. How can we begin to recognize and celebrate a job well done? How can we begin to ask 50% more questions than always making statements or giving directives? (from How the Mighty Fall by Jim Collins). In our current culture, the people on your team want to make a difference. They want to know how what they do is contributing to the success of the organization. Let’s use our words to share where we are going and what we are trying to achieve. Let’s use our words to let each person on the team know how they are contributing to our success. Let’s use our words to thank them and tell them how much we appreciate their hard work. Let’s use our words to coach and instruct them when things are not going well.
Our words make a huge impact but our actions speak even louder. If you are asking how someone is doing or asking them about what they are working on and then look at your Apple watch or check a text or email on your phone, you missed it. If they stop by your office and you get the chance to tell them good job while you are reading the email on your computer screen, you missed it. If you get invited to the planning meeting where the team will be going over their plans to change their process to make the organization more impactful and profitable and you are late to the meeting, you missed it. If you excuse yourself to respond to a text or email, you missed it. (Our actions are saying we are more important and this text or email is more important than you or this meeting). If we want our teammates to make the biggest impact, to passionately own it, to always be pushing to improve and get better, we must notice and say thanks. We must maximize the use of our words but also our actions. If it is important to them, it must be important to us.
I had a problem of always walking onto the job and looking for everything that was wrong or needed to be fixed or cleaned up. I had a superintendent ask me why I never said anything about all the amazing, wonderful things done well on the job? Wow, great question. I went to my computer and loaded a monthly recurring reminder, “Focus of the 90% good, not the 10% bad.” It changed my life!
You got this! Let’s take the next 30-45 days and start a new habit. Let’s begin to watch and catch someone doing good and tell them. Let’s ask questions and “Seek first to understand and then to be understood.” (from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey). Let’s let our actions, body language and expressions reinforce that we are interested and care and want to help if possible.
“The tone of our words will shape the tone of our relationships.”